her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
