Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
