No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
