Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
