walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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