I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize