The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
