hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
