they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
