I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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