There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
