member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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