i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
