So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
