I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
