Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
