I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
