My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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