I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
