i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
