Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
