they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
