its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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