There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
someone owes me an orgasm
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
