I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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