I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
home. puking in laundry basket.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
And then he peed in my hair
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