Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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