There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
