you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
