Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
