At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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