The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
