I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
