You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Randomize
