It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
