I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
