guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
