I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
