Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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