We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
