And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
