hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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