If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
4 words: hood of his car
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Who died my cat blue again?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize