And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
