he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
