then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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