dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
