For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
