So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
