Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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