She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
