Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
