nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
