On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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