what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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