I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
