Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
