I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
