Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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