I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize