Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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