She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
