You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
